Why I Am a Horrible Father – Reason # 44 (AKA: As The Crow Flies)

My wife, son and I had to travel to pick up my daughter.  It was a short trip, only about an hour or so. On the way, I see a bird on the highway, pecking on a carcass.  It is oblivious that we are speeding towards it. 

“Move bird. Move BIRD!  MOVE!”  I yelled as I honked my horn. The bird looked at the car and flew away. 

“Did you see that?!?  Stupid bird.  I just saved his life!  He should be more careful, hanging out in the road like that!”

That’s when my son asked “Well, how do you know the bird was a ‘him’?”

I’m proud to tell you that I resisted the urge to say “Because of it’s pecker”.  Well, at least not loud enough for him to hear it, anyway.  But I got a chuckle out of my wife. 

On the trip back, we see the same carcass in the road, with a new one near it. 

“Did you see that?  It was the bird I saved before!  Why didn’t it listen to me?  I don’t know why I bother. Poor bird. We should have a moment of silence for that poor, stupid dead bird who wouldn’t listen to what was good for him”

The car fell silent. Probably not out of respect for this bird, but because of my lunatic ranting about it. 

That’s when my son breaks the silence by singing, with all the seriousness he can muster because of the absurdity of a moment of silenc for a dead bird. 

“Oh say can you see, by the dawn’s early light”


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