The Horrible Father Presents: 7 tips for Children who try to disagree with their Horrible Father. 

Typical response when mom says “Listen to your father”

Sometimes, you and your precious children will disagree on the way you parent them.  Usually, that happens because you are telling them no. So, I decided that I would give some pointers to our kids to help them realize why Dads say no, and ultimately why we are always right.

  1. Calmly express your points. If you can’t do that, expect dads to say no.
  2. If any of your points include the phrase “but I’m almost N years old”, you’re not old enough.  It’s about maturity, not age.
  3. We don’t care if you say all of your friends are going.  Have one of them live stream it on Omegle. It’ll be like you are there.  And yes, we know all about Omegle. So get rid of it.
  4. We don’t care how long you have been looking forward to something, if we are not comfortable with you going, you are not going.
  5. Sometimes, the reason we say no has nothing to do with you, your company, or the activity. Sometimes it’s the location. See rule #4.
  6. When you break rule #1, come back and sincerely apologize, but do not expect us to change our mind.
  7. Dads can tell the difference between sincere apologies and apologies you make to get you closer to what you want.  We didn’t invent the bullshit detector, we perfected it.
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