No matter how hard you try to avoid it, your children will hear you swear at one point or another. It’s unavoidable. Especially when you are a Horrible Father. My children had two rules when growing up:
- Don’t touch Nana’s hair
- Don’t repeat anything dad says
Looking back, my potty-mouth really couldn’t be helped. It started when I was very young, no more than 3 1/2 years old. I blame it on an undiagnosed and never-before seen speech impediment that I was the only person in history to have. I would, under very specific circumstances, pronounce the “sm” sound as an “f”. And my Grandpa exploited that speech impediment, because it only occurred when I tried to speak one simple, specific little phrase: “Smucker’s Jelly”.
“Hey Pal, I don’t remember…what was the name of that grape jelly you like again?”, and I would answer him…oblivious to what I was saying. But he sure would laugh, which of course would make me laugh.
So, it should have come as no surprise the day my 4 year old son exclaimed in public “She is being a crabass!”
Flabbergasted I turned around and asked him “What did you just say?”. That was a big mistake. Because he told me. Again and again.